Comparison

When I read this statement, I had one of those lightbulb moments because this is exactly what I do. I compare my reality to what other people choose to show out in the world. I'm not comparing my reality to their reality. It's all about perception, how I perceive that person and his/her life.

I'm not someone who walks around and tries to make my life appear full of sweetness and light. However, I'm not someone who will tell all my shit to just anyone either. So if you don't really know me and what I face on a daily basis, you could easily think my life is just easy and good all the time. There's only a handful of people that I know in real life that I would be honest with if they asked me how I am. Everyone else, I will just give a smile and say I'm fine as I limp away, as my eyes are bright with tears because most people don't want the truth. It makes them uncomfortable and then they say dumb stuff, stumbling over words to try and make you feel better. I've found it's easier to just smile and say I'm fine, it saves them from being incredibly uncomfortable and saves me from wanting to smack them when they give me nervous, unwanted advice.

I have someone in my life who has to make it seem like her life, marriage and kids are perfect. Sometimes it just bugs the hell out of me, other times I feel sorry for her. I mean, if she's seeking perfection, I think she's going to be disappointed quite a bit. I will admit that I am naturally a negative person, sometimes I can be hard as nails and while I don't really like that side of myself, it has served it's purpose on recognizing the bullshit. And I'm just too tired to make myself be anything else than me. Keeping up appearances takes work, I find it much easier to be me with all my imperfections.

I find other people like me a wonderful breath of fresh air. I love a mom who can admit that her kids are total brats at times, that her husband is being an ass and that she just ate half a package of oreos.

I don't compare my life to others as much as I used to. More and more I'm becoming comfortable with the life I was given, with the choices I've made, with my imperfections. I think that comes from years and years of trying to be someone I wasn't, doing things because they were expected of me simply because I was a wife and mother and then I would fail at most of them which only made me feel worse.

Comparison usually leads to jealousy because let's be honest, when we compare our life to anothers, who usually comes in on the "less" or "down" side? We do, the other person always comes out better. But I bet if we knew the truth, not what they choose to show the world, we would see that our lives really aren't that bad after all.

I say next time we start comparing ourselves to another that we make a conscious effort to stop, realize we're only seeing the other person's highlight reel and comparing it to our reality, our behing the scenes. Then we need to be thankful for our reality, all of it because it's OURS.

Comparison is the thief of joy.-Theodore Roosevelt